Friday, 25th July, 2008 - Doggy Diapers

Today mummy said she had a present for me. I was all excited at the prospect of another bone or smoked hock when she pulled out some strange purple-looking thing and a packet of something that didn't smell like I could eat. I was disappointed. A present means something edible at least! But alas no...this was not to be. Then what does she do? She sprawls me, first on my back (which was most uncomfortable, I might add), then rolls me back onto my side - this "thing" in her other hand. She seems a little puzzled as to what to do next. I thought she might give up, but no. The dreaded thing makes an awful noise, mummy said it's velcro, and it fastens things together so they don't come apart. OK....so what does that have to do with me? Now I'm puzzled. Either way, daddy called her for something so she left the purple thing on the coffee table and me to my devices - which at this point, was sleep.

I was just about to doze off in some nice meadow when suddenly I was jolted awake with one leg being pulled one way and then my butt lifted off my nice warm comfy bed! There's mummy trying to put that purple thing on me! She tells me it's to help me feel a little more comfortable. I would be a lot more comfortable if she had left me sleep, never what she had in mind. So what exactly is it, mum? And then she tells me - a doggy diaper. A doggy diaper? What do I need one of those for? I tell you when I need to pee pee or otherwise. It's your fault if you don't listen to me and I go anyway - where ever I am. I don't need no doggy diaper! I'm 14....that's like 78 in dog years! What on earth are you thinking? But still she struggles, and I don't help much. Well, I can't, can I? But even if I could, I wouldn't because I don't want to be wearing a nappy! And yet mummy still keeps on trying.... She gets one leg in then tries the other while putting my tail through and then my first leg comes out again. She tries again - and my tail slides out again...tehehehe.... This really is quite amusing to watch you know. See even the fates are against you putting that thing on me mum. But ever the optimist, and just as stubborn as I am, she doesn't give up. Instead she takes the whole kaboodle off again and this time does it up completely....then she slides my legs through, then my tail and pulls the diaper up to my waist like a pair of underpants. And then to top it off she puts my collar back on (which I haven't worn since I've been housebound) and clips some strap to it from the diaper. Hmmph! So she won. She got the thing on me. And I don't like it one bit!

Honestly, the indignity of it all. Old age really can be a bitch, you know. First my legs stopped working, then I had my strokes, now I'm completely dependent on mummy for everything, and to top it off I have to wear a diaper! I bet you Suzie the cat next door wouldn't let Aunty Tracy put one on her.... although I'd like to see her try. Tehehehe Oh well, I shall just have bark that little bit more to let mummy know of my complete disapproval.

Bark, bark, bark, bark.....woof-woof, woof-woof, woof-woof....

See how she likes it now.... Bark, bark, bark, bark.....woof-woof, woof-woof, woof-woof....